Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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