He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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