turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
