pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
