Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
