I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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