i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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