I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You took a bar mat shot.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
