No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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