i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
