They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
