Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
