What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
no you cant smoke seaweed
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
