So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
