By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
