You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
