what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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