she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
