she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
