So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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