so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Randomize
