so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
