In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just had sex on a roof
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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