so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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