just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
