I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Randomize
