Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize