The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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