This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
