I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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