Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
