She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
