you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Randomize
