I CAN MOONWALK!
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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