MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
