How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
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