I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Randomize
