these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
