Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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