Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
