My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
the day after is always just damage control
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
