the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
