His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
