"it" just moved
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
