I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
someone owes me an orgasm
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
