Your tits are I can't wait for
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
