giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
