I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
this boner is exhausting
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
