I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
