Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
