I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
wat bout pragnant strippers??
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
