i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
