11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
