and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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